jasmasson

A New Man
Idol Wheel of Chaos | Week 10 | 2440 words
Intrigant (one who intrigues or is involved in intrigue)

x-x-x-x-x

Winslow Johnson was a middle-aged man in a Midwestern city who suffered from being constantly overlooked. Even his name, which should have been interesting, somehow wasn't. People noticed it for half a second, and then slid right off into "Eh…" It was unusual, but somehow also blah, like Winslow himself.

Sometimes, Winslow wondered if he was invisible.

He worked as a shoe salesman at J. C. Penney, a job that was even less exciting than it sounded. Penney's specialized in 'sensible' and 'matronly,' with a large overlap between the two. Winslow had also never cared for feet, which only made the job more unpleasant. He had tried feigning enthusiasm for them before, but found that it only made him seem weirder.

What he needed, Winslow thought, was a personality transplant.

At office parties and in the breakroom at work, he never seemed to have anything to talk about. He had hobbies, and they weren't anything desperate like collecting string. But when he mentioned his tiny herb garden or he invited someone to spend the day watching trains with him, he got nothing but blank stares in return. Why couldn't he be like Dave from Home and Garden, who was a sports nut and knew how to make people laugh? Or like Janet from Housewares, who was always up-to-date on new movies and the popular TV shows?

Winslow had no idea how to solve his problem. There were no classes for that sort of thing, no magic potions that could make a difference. The only thing he could think of was to go to the bookstore and consult the self-help section. The quantity of selections was overwhelming:

"The You You Are," by Dr. Ricken Lazlo Hale.

What? Winslow thought.

"You Are Special, Yes You Are!" by Bitsy McLintock.

Winslow cringed, and kept surveying the shelves.

"Why You Suck, And How To Stop," by Chad Barton.

Huh. The title was kind of harsh, but didn't it basically describe his problem? And if anyone would know how to be cool, it would be someone named Chad. Winslow picked the book up and started leafing through it.

Chapter 1
Why You Suck and Nobody Likes You

You're creepy. You're boring. You smell bad. Do any of these sound familiar? The suckee is always the last to know.

Oh, no! Winslow thought. Could one of those be his problem? Or worse, all of them?

( Read more... )

There's no poll this week, as it's a contestant-only vote.

I got booted out of Idol: Wheel of Chaos last week, by the "poisoning" twist that's part of the game (and the chaos) this season. Very sad about that. :( I'd rather get voted out than be murdered sideways, and I know the other Poisonees must feel the same. :( I wrote a good story for a hard prompt, too, so I would have expected to survive another week based on it! ETA: Wait. Back IN the game again, thanks to another spin of the Chaos wheel! WUT.

That was also the same day my Hawaii sunburn started to peel, but I've still got some of those vacation feelings going. What a wonderful, relaxing time. We stayed at the Waikoloa Village Hilton, with a room overlooking the bay, the lagoon, and the (surprise!) dolphin area. Just sitting out there and watching everything was fun, and it also helped me get a sense of what was happening with the tides (which sometimes made the chairs and umbrellas by the lagoon inaccessible). I snorkled in the lagoon quite a few times, and saw lots of Moorish idols and parrot fish and yellow tangs, and even a spotted ray and a trumpet fish! Mostly, I read and people-watched and listened to the waterfall across the way. Lovely. I spent a LOT of time by the lagoon overall, and that's how I got sunburned three different times. I'm pretty sure I've managed to avoid sunburn in Hawaii entirely as an adult, up until now. Because it's always burning, never tanning...

My sister recommended that resort (she and her husband stay there often), and it was truly gorgeous. Possibly too big for HalfshellHusband, though? He struggles to walk long distances (foot pain and an arthritic back), so that was way more walking than he would have liked. If you started from our hotel, and walked the long way across the bay to the other side of the resort, I think it would be a distance of about 6-8 blocks. At least the Kona airport was small, compared to the ginormous one in Hololulu that he struggled to get through last year. It's not just the distance or the pain, either—the combination of heat and humidity in Hawaii make it hard for him to breathe. Still, he soldiered on as he always does.

With all of that reading, I have some books to recommend:
Blob (A Love Story), by Maggie Su - A feckless young women encounters a gelatinous blob in an alleyway behind a bar, and takes it home. Soon, she is attempting to mold it into the perfect boyfriend.
The Shamshine Blind, by Paz Pardo - Only the second sci-fi novel I've ever read that has the physical effects of color as its main theme (the other is Jasper Fforde's "Shades of Grey"). This book has a noir feel to it, with the main character hunting down fake pigment distributors and illegal uses of color in a dystopian world under Argentinian dominion. (!)
Secret Dead Men, by Duane Swierczynski - Del Farmer, a reporter-turned PI, tries to solve the mystery of his own murder with the help of the souls of the dead he has collected (and now houses in the Brain Hotel inside his head).
Gone, Baby, Gone and Prayers For Rain, by Dennis Lehane - This entire detective series is good, but these two books are both extremely well-written. It would be hard to say which is better, though I'll give the nod to the second one.

Soon to come: TV recs. But in the meantime, how have you all been?