Celebrity Shag List

So I was randomly stalking green_grrl's journal the other day, as I am wont to do when I fancy a taste of something outside my main fandom, because she has awesome recs, and spotted her celeb_shag_list, and thought, wow, my list has changed beyond recognition since I posted it... I must update!

And so, here, with totally extraneous commentary, is a list of the top ten celebrities I would shag. If, you know, this weren't reality. Sadly.

10: Man, I shipped Krycek so hard back in the day. Pretty, pretty green eyes.
( Nick Lea )

9: For years - and they were key years in my sexual development - Methos was very much the king of my hormones. Ah, Methos, how so awesome?
( Peter Wingfield )

8: She had some fierce competition for the hotness mantle in Buffy, but she pretty much dissolved the screen for me.
( Eliza Dushku )

7: Yeah, OK, I admit, Faith is just edged out in the hotness stakes by Spike. Fngrghgah. The coat, the snark, the hips. Ah, Spike. Also, thrilled to see you on Torchwood, JM. You still got it.
( James Marsters )

6: Eric. Eric, Eric, Eric. Goddamn you were hot in Troy. And also an excellent actor. Well done you. (We do not speak of ‘Hulk’.) When you are the villain in the Star Trek movie I fear my squee will reach a level audible only to dogs and fellow fangirls.
( Eric Bana )

5: I can’t have an Eric without an Orlando. You occasionally look so stupid I spit my food at the computer screen, and occasionally look so good I feel I should be worshipping at some shrine for the privilege of looking at you. Slightly conflicting, yes, but you still deserve pride of place on my list sweetie.
( Orlando Bloom )

4: Um. I think denying that bandom has got me would be stupid at this point. I am still slightly sheepish and deeply confused by this person’s presence on my hormonal hit-list, though, because he meets NONE of the criteria for my fancying a person (I refer you to position 1 on this list). I appear to have hitched my wagon to the most disliked bandom boy, thus opening myself to the pain of hearing him bashed and belittled on fan communities let alone the wider public (yay?), but there seems to be no help for it. I can join in myself to some extent (Eat something! And, seriously, WTF are you wearing?!), but I cannot deny that the radio station of my hormones is currently playing all Ryan Ross, all the time. Because he’s ridiculous, and simultaneously bitchy and vulnerable, damaged and brave. But mostly because he's ridiculous.
( Ryan Ross )

3: While slightly sheepish re Ryan Ross I make no apologies for this one. Frank Iero is awesome. He’s tiny and pretty, energetic and enthusiastic and surprisingly articulate. When the audience yelled ‘fags’ at MCR playing on stage his response was to kiss Gerard, not angrily in a fuck-you kind of way, but a sweet little kiss on the cheek. Frank. How much more could I love Frank? The answer is none. None more love.
( Frank Iero )

2: Yes, my top two will shock and surprise you. Bandom, you’re never going to have me completely, because none of you are as pretty as Jared and Jensen. But don’t feel bad! No one is.

Ah, Jensen. You so pretty it’s almost obscene. I cannot believe how well you play Dean. You make me love him so very, very much I can’t even tell you. I buy everything you’re selling me from slapstick, to angst, to the fabulous wincesty brotherly love for Sammy. Don’t ever stop.
( Jensen Ackles )

1: Jay-red! If I was allowed to design my perfect man and send the order off to God, you are what I would get through the post. In terms of both looks and personality you tick every box. I love your sweet, goofy smile and your sparklyballoons!!!111!one!!!
( Jared Padalecki – like sun people. Like the motherfucking sun. )

And, hell, because I’m so good to you, have a picture of 1 and 2 together. You may want to shield your eyes from the pretty.
( Consider yourself forewarned. )

SO! That’s my hormones laid out for you all to see. Tag you all (because I’m very, very nosy).